CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, PARENTING, SELF-ESTEEM AND NARCISSISM1
The ability to constructively criticize is crucial and necessary inan individual’s social and professional life. It provides anopportunity to impact characters in the immediate environmentpositively (Bakhla et. al, 2013). A constructive critic majorlyfocuses on the positive than the negative, the failures than thesuccess. This necessary doesn’t mean assuming failures,disappointments and other negative components but a changed attitude.A changed perception of all negative aspects.This especiallyapplies in a family setting where the parents majorly shapes thecharacter of the children (Henschel, C., 2013). Parents’ criticismshave been found by researchers and experts to influence thechildren’s self-esteem. It determines how healthy or unhealthy thechildren’s narcissism (Kristen, M. L., 2013). This paper seeks toestablish how constructive criticism plays a role in parenting stylesand how self-esteem links to healthy or unhealthy narcissism.
The process of critiquing can be negative or positive. However, itsnature should be constructive, encouraging and positive notdestructive at all. Constructive compared to destructive critiquinghas advantages that helps in solving problems without offendinganyone. It changes behavior and supports development. Further,constructive criticism provides meaningful and logical direction orguidelines.
Uji et. al (2014) describe three parenting whose features vary withthe nature and willingness of the parents’ advice and crit. Theparenting styles discussed include permissive, authoritarian andauthoritative styles. Among the three, only authoritative parents arefound to be constructive critics. The authoritative parents’ guidebut in a rational and issue-oriented way. They explain to the childthe reason behind every step and listens to the child. These parentsinculcate their own perspective but still appreciate the child’sreasoning (Sartaj & Aslam, 2010). The permissive andauthoritarian contradict the rule of constructive criticism. Thepermissive parent do not criticize at all they are acceptant whilethe authoritarian are the complete opposite of this. They areforceful in nature, they discourage verbal give and take, but theirword is always right.
Self-Esteem and Narcissism.
Narcissism is viewed as a personality disorder in the world ofpsychology. It is a spectrum of behavior that is prevalent in manworldwide. Therefore, it is factual that we are all narcissistic toan extent. It ranges from healthy narcissism all the way topathological form also known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder atthe extreme end (Kristen, M. L., 2013).
The scenario of a healthy and unhealthy narcissism is triggered bythe desire to approval. This can directly be associated withself-esteem which is reflects a person’s overall emotionalevaluation of their own worth. A judgment of oneself as well as anattitude toward the self. In his book Superiority and SocialInterest, Alfred Adler explains that human being yearn to be loved,to feel important, powerful and in control. Further, this needobjects any criticism that would make one feel any kind ofinferiority. It is believed that it is the feeling of inferioritythat is responsible for all human action to work for a feeling ofsuperiority and perfection (Denisco, 2012). This is a healthnarcissism in play which necessary for psychological health andgrowth. This ensures protection disappointments, failures andeliminates the feeling of helplessness. Less narcissism causes lessconfidence and esteem, and the opposite is also true that a lowesteem will trigger unhealthy narcissism (Kristen, M. L., 2013).Absence of confidence and esteem causes inflated egos. Thisinfluences subject individuals to compromise social cohesion for themto stand out. The low self-esteem can majorly be associated with theparenting styles while the parenting styles are highly differentiatedby the nature of criticism.
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Uji, M., Sakamoto, A., Adachi, K., & Kitamura, T. (2014). TheImpact of Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive ParentingStyles on Children`s Later Mental Health in Japan: Focusing on Parentand Child Gender. Journal Of Child & Family Studies,23(2), 293-302. doi:10.1007/s10826-013-9740-3.
Sartaj, B., & Aslam, N. (2010). Role of Authoritative andAuthoritarian Parenting in Home, Health and Emotional Adjustment.Journal Of Behavioural Sciences, 20(1), 47-66.